if it were possible I'd exchange my vagina for a diff one on the black market.
And he tried to make it as casual as possible by asking where i was going on vacation while he was poundin me.
I love drunk self when he leaves a prepacked bong for the morning... in the bathroom.
I'm just saying, margarita tuesday would turn anyone gay.
Yehhhaaww I'm way ahead of you. I'm gunna get her a card that says " I'm sorry your now ex boyfriend decided to upgrade"
Some idiot from high school is in the hospital for bonging three beers up his ass
He should have died. Natural selection.
We decided this year instead of not participating in Halloween at all we are going to hand out free beers to the parents.
Apparently I'm short enough to sit on his lap and fuck him while he is driving because the cop didn't notice.
I have nothing to say other than the obvious 'we probably shouldn't have done that' and the less obvious 'i think you bruised my labia major' ...?
Enroute to my place eta 6 mikes...estimated time until intoxicated? 45 mikes. Commence the timer.
Yeah the last text says "How many your ass,,,,, prepare it" so take that for what it is
He woke me up because I was snoring and went for a second round. First time I'm happy that I snore
I just fell down my stairs, guess that's how my sunday is gonna go
The guys who program Autocorrect have never seen a vagina in person
someday i'll meet a man and who loves me as much as i love getting drunk and starting fires
Randomize
