i'm pretty confident that i watched a woman making love to a german shepherd.
I had to get a ride home from that girl that slept with 3/4 of the band
We stopped her at 12
12 shots? Or 12 midnight?
Which answer would freak you out less
i want to major in coloring with an emphasis on crayons.
so finals studying is going well?
I'm trying on my bridesmaid dress so that I can determine what will need to be done to achieve getting fucked while wearing it.
I wish dancing around my house in my bra and underwear to Love Shack whilst eating strawberry cake batter was an acceptable form of exercise.
That gas station is used for only two things, picking up moonshine and getting murdered. Only two outcomes.
Dick in my face. Dick in my face. Dick in my face. Dick in my face. Dick in my face. Dick in my face. Dick in my face. Dick in my face.
Check 'smoke weed with our ihop waiter' off of our To-Do List
I knew things were bad when my gyno recommended meditation.
too bad I'd hit a car before I'd hit a bush.
Are we talking about jumping from windows or your willingness to fuck a car instead of a woman?
You ruined a cute cat because your lack of horniness
Drunk level: ugly crying in the bar upon discovery of sweet tarts and not smarties.
Tonight I'm getting fucked up for America because Lord knows we need it.
Just blew on a shot of whiskey to cool it off, like it was soup...
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