508, what difference does it make? You were alone, anyway.
The woman in front of me has a completely clear purse. I can see everything. It's ballsy because her vagisil is on display.
The night ended with a lot of tears and everyone singing along to Willenium
I'm laying outside on my patio attempting to get sun with a puke bucket next to me... This is dedication to the tan my friend
Please acknowledge the sock on the door. If not it will be rammed up your ass.
I can say with 87% certainty that i received one of the world's five greatest blow jobs since the Coolidge administration on Saturday night.
I cannot be with a girl who won't let me come home on my lunch break, eat spicy ranch and watch Breaking Bad without pants on. #lesbianproblems
well i mean, we just followed them into an alien and astronaut party. there was tin foil everywhere
Is it wrong that I get drunk and let him eat me out then fall asleep? He offers me so much and yet I do nothing. I feel like a republican.
I may or may not have hooked up with the cop who arrested me.. Or I can cross hooking up with a stripper in a cop outfit off my bucket list.
there are not enough nopes in the world for that situation.
WTF I can't even get a boyfriend here and you're getting nudes from across the country
I just want to bone him one last time before he moves across the country with his new (average looking) girl friend.
My disney ticket is covered in lube, do you think they will accept it?
During my first week as an adjunct prof, I played a fiercely fought game of squash with a law student and we wound up having hot, sweaty, angry sex right on the floor of the court. She is either the best or worst thing to happen to my academic career. Will let you know.
Randomize
