How do you know one of your one night stands hasn't produced a child? You may have hundreds of kids.
Pretty sure I don't. One night stands are purely anal..no exceptions.
Myspace is for pedophiles and tweakers in the 818 trying to hook up. I always forget theres music there too
I woke up at 2 pm to my roommate checking my pulse.
I found it funny that her boobs actually kinda felt like a bag of sand. the 40 year old virgin should feel better about himself.
So how many shot glasses of coffee grounds make a pot?
Sometimes i wish my penis was detachable that way i could take it off sometimes so i wouldnt get into these situations
i almost hope i AM knocked up so i can ruin the rest of his life
well I already know I'm going to hell, at this point it's really go big or go home
I mean I love some drunk compliments, but he just wasn't up to my low standards.
So I just stirred my shower drink with my razor.
I'm not going to ask which end you used.
I saw a kitty kat get finger blasted on the couch by a Bulls player
Successfully put eye drops in while driving with my glasses on. Stoner level: expert
Bumble is fuckin insane here. I'm going to break a hip.
you are the only girl i know that would bring a plate of cookies to a hook up. but they were awesome. thanks. next time cupcakes?
We need a signal or code word for "I basically shaved my whole body and we should touch each other tonight".
Randomize
