shaved balls and baby powder=awesome
no really all good couples have similar hair colors!
Fail #1 I puked off the balcony onto the balcony below us and when I tried to pour water on it in the morning to wash it off it just went all over their deck. Sorry room 1342 but welcome to Jamaica
dude she snuck out while I was still sleeping then was banging on the door 10 minutes later cuz her car was brokedown. how was I suppose to recognize her??
She crushed my hand with the box spring last time, so it's all good.
I'm going to a foam party and gonna grind someones dick off hayy
Just high watching the holiday fireplace channel. My space heater lends authenticity to the fire experience. Come over.
Like I've never seen her that drunk. She's usually like quiet and doesn't say she'll fuck someone on a futon
Well if she's the kinda girl that doesn't want you after seeing a pic of your balls squeezed together, she's not the girl for you.
My new hobby is moving his stuff to random places in the house. Good luck making a smoothing at 6:30 in the morning, the blender top's in the dog food container
You're like the fucking Mozart of sexting.
I accidently sent a dick pic to the group chat with her family. Right after they all said it was a pleasure having me for dinner. Wana drink with me?
I'm nothing if not determined to sleep with everyone at that company
I need a pedicure
You need to go to planned parenthood
i need you to come over and tell me if you can notice that i'm only wearing a teddy underneath my trenchcoat
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