Damn. That makes sense
I know im like the sherlok holmes of sexual problems
Red Bull/Vodka? You bet I'm showing everyone my penis tonight.
Pls don't use the words alligator, purple, and sperm in the same sentence ever again.
i dedicated my morning wood to you.
so i wake up and the chick who i had sex last night left her phone number. next to the number was a broken condom. should i call?
I just watched a video of Justin Bieber kissing a girl..... the sad thing is that I actually got upset.
He came in looking for condoms, iced coffee, and a gas tank. I need to be where he's going.
You threw up on yourself, then proceeded to tell us "to not make a mess in your car"
who said I'd never amount to anything...i just won 'most enthusiastic' at my poledancing class
my self respect just called, its having a good time without me
I'm sitting next to some random guy in a gorilla suit drinking out of a bottle of vodka.
He's majoring in Religion
Me. blonde. Sex. Dance floor.
IT'S LIKE SHE TAKES SECRET KUNG FU CUNT LESSONS AND THEN BRUCE LEES ALL OVER EVERYONE.
My boyfriend just asked what time I was coming over. As soon as my old BF unchains me. I think he ran away.
Had a job interview today. Walked into the room and said "IT'S GO TIME, BITCHES".
Randomize
