At least you're going to bed with all the teeth you woke up with
She's NOT homeless...she graduated early.
She just stuck her hand down the strippers pants. Shit just got real.
I fatbooth all their pics then decide which one is the cutest even if they gained like 400 lbs and then proceed to fuck him.
We were gonna play Truth or Dare but like 10 minutes in we decided to get naked and play Dare or Get the fuck out.
i yelled at him for a little and we ended up fucking in a random tennis court.
No, i will not have sex with him again. It felt like he was trying to bulldoze his way through me. My vagina is on strike.
We wore fake mustaches and shirts that said team mustache ride to a party we weren't even invited to
Before we rave about the healing powers of your penis, remember it nearly killed me as well.
I don't think you should be sorry for such memorable sex that I yell your name when you aren't around.
I knew I was in trouble when she kept referring to the next day as things we should do
So you brought her to my house and left her on my couch.
Well. Now I feel like I put pants on for nothing.
So I had Xanax for breakfast & I'm probably going to fuck my tennis instructor.
So Blakes coming home... so if youre like fingerbanging the shit out of yourself on the kitchen table...wrap it up
Gov of Georgia is going to allow massage therapists to return to work.
Gives a new meaning to 'Happy Endings'.
Randomize
