i hope you realize that ur overconfidence only gave me one orgasm out of all the times we had sex. that's like a 1% success rate. u might wanna rethink how amazing you are.
I'm driving in the middle of nowhere, and I just saw a stuffed Barney hanging from a noose on a tree. Maybe I should turn around.
Two girls are now jumping in the ocean naked at 10 PM...and I was just starting to hate Ocean City
my little brother got his license today.. too early to ask him to DD?
I almost masterbated to the avatar love scene ha it was so hot
As soon as the judge read that I rear ended the car from getting roadhead he chuckled. You know he's been there before.
the can pyramid on my head actually reached a decent height before I moved.
what's the name of that soccar player i bit again?
We couldn't get our shit together to go to the bar, so we're getting drunk and facebook stalking all the girls who have gotten fat since high school. Any names you wanna throw out?
The walk home from the bar is FAR more shameful in daylight.
Who am I sleeping next to in your bed? Where are you? Also when are you coming home... I need coffee.
i want to have awesome sex and feel fuzzy.
I clipped one of my extensions in his hair to give him a rat tail. What is my life?
He came back with a Butterfinger and vibrator batteries. There's no refusing him now.
I'm somewhere between crying and wanting to orgasm.
Randomize
