This is a mass text. Does anyone know where I am?
he actually used the line "do you have a map, because i'm lost in your eyes" and i was to drunk to care
I mean it's my life so what if i want to drink Molson from my sparkly shoes and not regret anything
Turns out puking in your mask makes it even harder to see out of the mask..
So I walk in and he's teaching someone in London via Skype how to roll a blunt. I have new found respect for him.
Is it just me, or do you see your penis in that hand?
It was awful. He had a wife
And now you've had a year of virgin penance. Absolve yourself.
You were throwing cups at people in the basement, yelling at them to get out of your swamp.
I woke up in a bunk bed beside two Brazilians dude you have no idea how happy I was
I don't even care that it's before church. I feel like God actually wants me to have this shower beer.
What?? I could've slept with an ordained minister!
"keg stand!" on a roof abruptly turned into "call the medics"
Being high is definitely not the perfect addition to this family dinner. No. My grandma trips me the fuck out.
He’s like Batman if Batman went down on me and gave me multiple toe curling orgasms. He left without saying a word before I pulled the pillow off my face
Find out if he’s shared his techniques with a friend and set me up with him. You know I’ve always had a thing for Robin!!!!
Sorry. I was preoccupied thinking about penises
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