good news, i'm not pregnant. bad news, i had sex with ***** last night and i think i'd rather be pregnant
He's like the houdini of condoms. I never even realized he put one on before we fucked. he's magical.
Oddly enough when I decided to stop whoreing myself out... I lost most of my companionship.
Just checked my recent transactions online. Between the hours of 1 and 3am on September 30th, I went to 7/11 4 times. Unacceptable.
Yeah. I stopped her before she flashed the guy for a free slice of pizza. She called me a gentleman and then before I knew it she was in my bed.
Accidently said "your going to hurt the baby" when he got forceful with his thrusts. I guess I forgot to mention to him that we are pregnant.
Life gets in the way of sexy Saturday sometimes
Last I saw, they went for a smoke and only one came back. He passed out outside. I'm glad he's only 120lbs. I left him on the rug still. My mom is gonna be pissed.
It was all good till you had ppl chasin shots of ciroc with fucking applesauce
So like, boobs.
are you really going to start every conversation like that?
also somebody did cough syrup and i was really worried but i couldn’t express why properly so i was like MACKLEMORE SAYS NO
I was jerking him off and in two seconds he went from "oh yeah that feels good" to "what day is Thanksgiving again?" and then back again. Like wtf.
His face matches his life choices. Both are train wrecks.
All I'm wearing right now is a condom and a sock.
Just one?
Yup. One sock.
i came so much i feel like i were to try again, only dust would come out. and maybe glitter
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