I think I'm going to start texting all the people that don't want to talk to me
why is it impossible to run with a back pack without looking like a giant d-bag?
haha... you gave me a great visual of you in high white socks running with a backpack with eye of the tiger playing in the background
that only happened once.
we screwed to my bar mtzvah tape, I became a man while watching myself becom a man
woke up with ski boots on and a kayak in my room... birthday successful? i'd say so
he kept whispering yes yes yes yes the entire 15 minutes. i almost wish it was a quickie.
It was her 21st and she had one drink and fell asleep. I hate 90lb girls.
This is final. The chair stays in the bathroom, we are too old to be puking from the floor, grown ups sit in chairs infront of the toilet to puke.
Or grown ups don't drink themselves into vomiting.
We haven't said piping hot jizz in awhile... that needs to come back into our conversations
Of course I'll be there. I never miss an opportunity to smell like cigarettes, cheap beer, and shame.
Goddamn it Peter ur the only person i know who can make going down on a girl a competition.
She won. Twice.
someone stole all your weed so you told us you were planning each of our deaths
Apparently I had 2 bloody noses and after my sis put me to bed at the hotel, I escaped and my sister's friend found me in an elevator with some guy
I'm eating animal crackers on my bed next to my vibrator writing about the hopelessness and depravity of humanity. I am LIVING.
Also I know now I was meant to be a comedian. Had both arresting officers laughing.
Did you just correct my spelling of a made up word?
No, I just was using your word in plural form
Randomize
