so i did it. i barked while i was ejaculating. not a word was said by either of us afterwards.
so how much did i say i owed you?
$5 and a new fuck buddy.
Maybe I'll tuck it in and pretend to be a woman pretending to be a man that is attracted to women that are attracted to women who look like men
you told the cop you blew a .08 because you ate poppy seeds
I just found a bagel and a condom in my coat pocket. I love blackouts
Also managed to rip my pants and set myself on fire. And oddly enough I'm still not ready to ask for 2010 back.
Dude you have to come get or im gonna nail this 64 y/o woman as repayment for buying me shots of jager
She puked her nose ring out of her face.
I want a calm night. Not one where I wake up to you topless and bloody.
Wearing a french maid costume for Halloween sure did help me meet girls
Dude, they all thought you were gay.
Well just watched a guy puke in a trash can then proceed to pick pizza outta said trash can and eat it
Everything I own smells like cigarettes and victory right now. The smell is never coming out.
My one regret (beside the inevitable shit storm that followed) is that now I can't fuck his cute friend.
she fell asleep in a torn bush after playing cards at a nursing home.
Yeah, but having a dick this size has ruined 3 marriages.
i was making a gravity bong in my room and my dad walked in. he helped me finish. i love being home for the holidays.
Randomize
