Just saw the pics you left in my phone. thanks for reminding me that last night was not a dream.
man i wonder what i would be like if i had never started smoking weed
Apparently he ran around last night saying he was 'the hulk hogan of muff diving'
random question: do you know anywhere in the tri-state that has elephant racing? this is a work related question.
is it possible that there's a used condom holding pennies in my bra? I'm so confused on what happened last night...
Ok if you are accepting my apology, please continue to ignore me. If you are not, please fill out the brief survey that follows, to help me improve my people relations: a) your a bitch please leave me alone b)your crazy pls leave me alone c) I never cared ab u please leave me alone. D) all of the above e) all of the above but I wouldn't mind still fucking u. F) who are you again? Your answer will not b shared and will b used in accord. With the law. TY
Bro I can't jerk it to my phone anymore. I feel Siri staring back, and she's real disappointed.
Yeahhh, everybody is so helpful when a pretty girl is crying hysterically and has only one shoe and a six pack.
By 11 pm the pants were off and there was no turning back. But on the bright side, you promised me your CDs when you died, you even signed a napkin saying so.
You suck at answering, but you did manage to avoid a fun conversation about hemorrhoids. So maybe you're great at answering.
I refused to call him anything but Drake eyebrows all night.
He fed us edamame like baby birds. Slowly all coming back to me.
Nobody wants to date "Eats Taco Bell Secretly In Her Car" Girl
I'm sitting naked on my bathroom floor and it remind me of us.
That's my way of saying I miss you
So you're willing to shred any respect that you had for your body on some random chick who's only looking for sex? That's the worst thing I've ever heard.
I mean, it won't be 100% meaningless, I know her middle name.
Randomize
