ad ew i am wasted whats my problem
Just watched 1 guy 1 jar with my mom. Awkwardville...
he was so excited that he found the elusive clitoris. i was like look christopher colombus, just because you found it doesnt mean you knew what to do with it
At least my shower head will respect me in the morning.
All four of us managed to throw up in the same bathroom at different times during the night. I think we'll get along great living together.
normally i wouldnt have blown him but he was on dawsons creek.. i love dawsons creek.
It was a sobriety test blowjob. If he could get it up, he could get me home.
on a scale of 1 to 'no sex' how busy are you this week?
Sorry for face planting onto the table with all our alcohol on it
i can trust myself, just not when im drunk. and drinking is my favorite pastime
why isn't there a kind of gay where i let guys give me head but they don't expect me to give it back? i could be that kind of gay
He was that good?
i now understand why vodka
How are you supposed to wish the guy you send nudes to good luck for the first day of his new job??
last night I learned that if you try to buy tacos in this town, that you will be stopped by three cop cars with breathalizers
May have told my history professor I wanted him to stuff me like a turkey. Too slutty?
Nah, people appreciate the creativity of seasonal sluttiness. Let me know if it works!!!
Randomize
