I bet Jafar would keep his hat on during
Good luck! Who knows he might be a stallion in the bedroom! or it could be like having sex with a crayon.
i kind of just want to tell my cleaning lady I'm an alcoholic so it's not awkward when I stumble out of my room to go sit in my car for 2 hours and wait for her to finish cleaning the several empty bottles of wine in my room
He googled "how long will i be drunk" and just started crying
She crushed my hand with the box spring last time, so it's all good.
getting up at 8am to start drinking seemed like a much better idea before I had to wake up at 8am
Hey remember that night when you sang Fergie to me? I think that's the exact moment in time when the thought "I could be faithful to this man" came into serious consideration.
We are without power. He took ALL the lightbulbs out and hid them.
He ate shrooms at 9:30, said, "see you later," and left. I am alone on New Years.
MORE IMPORTANTLY I THINK I JUST WATCHED SOMEONE GET SO LONELY AS TO TURN BISEXUAL??
I feel like it went downhill once I decided we should take $100 tequila shots.. oops lol
Bro you were on fire last night...like a less Irish version of Liam Neeson
His wedding band got caught on my nipple ring and that's how I realized he was married
He walked upstairs in nothing but his boxers and drunkenly asked my brother for a condom....so much for a good first impression.
I'm trying to imagine how upset he was when he realized that he had been cockblocked by a picture of a sloth and I am drawing indescribable pleasure from it.
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