We fish bowled my car and anna told us a story about time travel and part of it had people melted into the side of a boat and i imagined them being melted into my car moaning in pain and then we got scared and thought zombies were outside and couldn't leave for a while.
She's never had brie before last night, don't know if I can date a girl that doesn't like soft cheeses.
This guy just brought his piggy bank into the bar with him. Talk about corruption of childhood.
I feel more comfortable going down on her then actually kissing her.
No kidding. I just keep looking at that 'under 21 until 11/21/2011' on my id and whispering "soon enough"
I'm drinking sangria out of a sand pail. I'll pass on tonight
I made out with all three roommates...I didnt realize that was actually an awkward situation.
DIN'T JUSGE NE.
Hey since its national brother week is that eiffel tower option with your girlfriend still on the table?
Being able to fart in my own house is like 90% of why I pay rent
You must take up my position now. You must pass out in awkward places as I taught you... Sears a hotel elevator and Burger King bathroom. You potential for greater young grasshopper.
woke with Taco Bell next to me in bed and people's shoe sizes written on my arm.
Just because you have put things in my vagina does not mean you know me
Was it you that ate my bacon or do I have to rip my roommate's face off?
I don’t know whether to call out sick or call in drunk
Randomize
