I'm worried someone is gonna take a black light to my work computer. But the connection is faster here.
Honey, If i waited till marriage I wouldnt know what a dick tasted like.
why the FUCK would i wear makeup on my vagina!?
I'm pretty sure this all started when I found a vibrator in my mom's sock drawer and had my first orgasm when I was ten...
She bit a glass in half.
We ended up getting arrested after we flagged down the cops for a ride home with open beers in our hands... turns out the "nobody told me" excuse doesn't cut it anymore
how the fuck is Katelyn 5'1" and 85 lbs and she tackled a bouncer to the ground?
Things bear mace does not do: repel bears. Things bear mace does do: piss off bears, give bystanders asthma attacks. Lesson learned
Ive seen his manscaping faults. Given the choice I'd rather dry hump a cactus
it is shots o' clock and I am never late
I spent the morning naked in her roommates closet because her parents decided to come over after church..
Dude, i just watched a drag queen dropkick a motherfucker. this is a good night.
The fact that we all screamed by Felicia to a bitch actually named Felicia will be a highlight of my life
dude where did you go last night?
when the tequila says to run, you start running.
I love you so much and not just because your dick is perfect
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