I wanna put my baby in that!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
Ew you even made it your fb status
Ppl probably think ur having a kid
I hope
Love having children with random chicks
By the way, your roommate is right. His penis is much bigger than yours.
So Ive decided I have serious issues. Im walking around the school with a bag labeled booze money collecting from people while slightly hungover at 8:20 in the morning, and nobody is questioning me.
It started as a joke and ended with a trip to the emergency room, a broken macbook and a gigantic hole in the concrete of my driveway.
In their defense you were hugging a watermelon for a good portion of the trip
Our logic class started an hour ago, I walked out and found my sister drunk, sitting down, eating m&ms, afraid to walk in... I want her life
Did you know that scruff feels epic on boobs especially when they are covered in whip cream?
Note to self: the judgement that occurs when unrolling your last 5 which was used to snort drugs the night before, to pay for alcohol before noon on a Monday is worth just sucking it up and taking an overdraft fee.
Wait a min, you had drugs last night?!
pretty sure tht was the guy who once went to the club dressed as waldo. he still looks weirdly fuckable.
Dude they're making a condom for people who have no feeling in their penises that will make them able to have an orgasm. I love science
I seriously want to say to him "Do you know how many blow jobs you could have gotten this summer?"
someone stole all your weed so you told us you were planning each of our deaths
He's a doctor now.. hope he can cure his small dick
learned the hard way that breakfast jack daniels is a lot stronger than lunch or dinner jack daniels.
Ha. Yeah that's all I found you with this morning. Butt ass naked w my robe across your lap and your arms thrown back in handcuff position.
Randomize
