I feel like I'm back in highscool trying to hide my erections at work
Dude they have ski ball. Anywhere that has skiball is bound to be bangin.
yeah you're probably right.. i should stop equating love with getting naked on a webcam for him.
I hope he doesn't find the chex mix when he takes my shirt off.
I was high fiving everyone. I even high fived with the wall for doing such a good job suporting the ceiling and keeping us alive.
Dunno why I keep hitting snooze. It's never gonna give me the kind of sleep I need to be sober.
you walked in on him eating me out and screamed SHE'LL BREAK YOUR HEART BRO before body slamming on the ground and passing out on the floor
Invited the whole bar back to my place for an after party.....shit got real with everyone seeing dad drink moonshine like a champ.
I just made kick ass drunk stir fry while taking care of three other drunk people and doing shots. I don't understand how that's not wife material
I hope you get your threesome on vday. I'll probably get flowers and a candlelit dinner. trade you. I wish this guy was more of a slut and had less of a heart. I would like 2 dicks please fuck your flowers!
I woke up to my bra draped over his lamp and a huge bump on my head. apparently, I face planted while having sex in the shower..
his first fb message to me in 3 years was "is your cock open for business?" im blocking him
I was on the verge of being completely over him and then he went and made his Instagram not private... ITS LIKE HE KNEW
Afterwards the first thing I said was, "You know, you're probably the first guy who has ever gotten laid wearing Star Wars pajama bottoms."
In a few weeks I'll be a beautiful butterfly and me and my cat will have to repopulate the earth. WE WILL REBUILD!!
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