Afterall, it is the real San Francisco treat
so the situation is a+b=c where "a" is how much you weight, "b" is my gravitational pull, and "c" is how erect your penis is.
i am watching brooke knows best right now and hulk is totally dating his daughter's look a like. it is gross and disturbing.
the most pressuring question is, why are you watching brooke knows best?.
Goodbye hot boy in my geo class...goodbye my lover, goodbye my friend. you have been the one, you have been the reason I came to claassss
i checked my sent messages this morning and i had apparently tried to text the bar, saying "idk what i drank, do you?"
wait can you just look around please? that was my favorite bra and i've already asked like 3 other guys
You drunk yet?
Nope. Give me two hours then delete my texts before you read them.
Cant make any promises.
Just TALKING to him is better than banging my bf, imagine what actual banging will be like.
There are GROWN MEN with fake HP wands flinging curses at me in Walmart.
That's funny. Are they weird looking???
OF COURSE THEY ARE WEIRD LOOKING, THEY ARE STALKING ME IN WALMART. WITH. FAKE. WANDS.
how the hell did u puke all over the magazines... do u still want me to keep them
Well yea but it's the principle of the thing.. The fact that he could actually BE your daddy
Probably not well advised, but you're welcome to stop by if your not ready to end your night. You know, for Thanksgiving's sake.
Just saw the mall santa roll by on a rascal scooter holding a chic-fil-a milkshake and stop to chat up trio of cute 20-somethings. New hero.
I kept screaming that he looked like Khal Drogo and rode around the bar on his back.
I get so pissed when there is something that NEEDS to be made fun of and you're not here.
Randomize
