Mmmm, vodka for breakfast
im dirt poor will suck dick for halloween costume
all a guy has to do is give me sprinkles and cookies and they can get me in bed
apparently my insurance doesn't cover road head. Bummer.
thats the 2nd threesome ive been accused of this week
i had to sit with a fan pointed directly to my vag for a good 10 minutes
I just woke up entirely naked on top of a pile of some guy's laundry on his bedroom floor.
Fair enough. Everyone has some guilty pleasures. Yours is yourself
he looks SO much like Drake, I feel like an extreme groupie every time we have sex.
If I am telling you about the details of the shits I take I probably don't want to have sex with you. Probably.
I think the moment she woke up butt naked on a mattress with her phone still on her face was the point she knew last night was fucked up
Don't get mad at me now, you have my car and all the doughnuts
I haven’t been this excited since I found out they sold cases of Jack Daniels.
I'm just too horny to handle empty house
You just sent a mass text asking if anyone ever drank the blood of a goat in the glorious name of Satan...after that we confiscated any writing utensil
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