My sis friend said it was fake then described it as "scary"...greatest adj ever applied to my dick
ISS teacher has a tramp stamp.
Shotgun.
My dealer, who also happens to be a male stripper, just invited me to watch him perform tonight. Boundaries buddy, boundaries.
If there was a game called "keeping your legs shut," I would lose every time.
I started making my dollar bills into rings for the strippers
it is entirely possible that the police will be knocking on the door in 25 minutes
hes like the used car salesman of hook ups and closed the deal w my taking him home with me,as is,today
I just woke up in his house on his bathroom floor with an IV in my arm.
Was having a panic attack, but I'm out of xanax. Substituting with vodka shots and breathing exercises. My therapist will be proud, yes?
Do the molecules within bourbon change when mixed with a cola to form a superior liquid treat?
well his attempt to make a white russian with instant coffee, gone off milk, and that weird probably illegal vodka we bought the other day isnt going well
I'm working on a search warrant...can u pick up box of Chardonnay...I'll give u cash when u get here...
Yea... I love that ur a prosecutor and drink box wine
Im crossing my legs while on the toilet. It's like I'm unconsciously thinking "if im going to barf and shit at the same time, Im at least going to do it LIKE A LADY"
It's 2017. Get with the program. Also remind me never to get margaritas with you ever on Cinco de Mayo.
I'm getting drunk off Malibu and watching Drag Race and it's only 2 in the afternoon. I'm the poster child for sad gay men.
Randomize
