I am officially out of liquor stores within a 15 mile radius that don't recognize me as soon as I walk in the door.
She took a picture of me when she thought I was sleeping. I don't know whether to be amused or scared.
She just laid there, sucking on a piece of steak, with the most content look on her face. Just before she passed out (steak still on her mouth) she said the cat box needed to be emptied
I like it when Amish boys stare at my boobs, even tho I can't tell if it's in appreciation or disgust. Rumspringa, mothafuckers.
Drinking loves me for WHO I am
Got into Princeton. So excited about the mommy-issue-over-achieving-cock I get to ride the next 4 years!!!
I'm bored enough im considering taking up his offer to turn me straight just to kill time until the lasagna is out of the oven
I woke up in a beaver hat and contruction vest.. I need answers.
Goal: finish my bio assignment before the Xanax kicks in.
I just got wasted for $3.50. My life can't get any better.
she has no right to get mad at us for drinking during the wedding. she's the one that chose the bridesmaid dresses with pockets.
So, I think my BF has slept with several of our sorority sisters
Well, now that you know, yes he has. We didn’t say anything because you seemed so happy. He’s a great guy and none of us have any hard feelings, but yeah, we’re all very familiar with his penis and it’s talents
So, do I need to remind you to keep it classy tonight?
No, because if you have to be reminded it isn't classy.
Here's a rundown of my night alone. Danced my ass off in the kitchen to FleetmacWood. Drank a little bit. Ordered $40 worth of Chinese food once the drinks kicked in. Picked up said Chinese in dirty sweatpants and slippers. #livinglife
Come on baby if you haven't had a Charleston chew eatin out of your ass you just ain't livin right.
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