well look at the bright side
maybe you can be on an episode of "I Didn't Know I Was Pregnant"
How do I tell if what I'm covered in is pee or cum?
they ran out of ice so they are using frozen shrimp in their drinks
You guessed 7 of 8 bra sizes correctly. You're like a drunk rainman.
Working out to an exercise video on OnDemand. Also, drinking beer and eating cream cheese with a side of bagel in between stretches.
Is "blowjob enthusiast" a bad costume?
I can't believe you're trying to guilt me into a blow j because a tornado made you homeless.
Is it working?
Pants off. Spirits lifted.
I recommend we watch the Super Bowl together and have celebratory sex if we win. Good news is I don't have a team I dislike so were guaranteed a win.
He wrote on the bartenders notepad "phone?" So I wrote back "911"
In retrospect, vomiting out of a moving vehicle on the third date should have been a deal breaker
I kinda forgave him after he laid next to me and rubbed my arm for four hours while I tripped balls.
It's a race to see if I finish the bottle first or my homework
I want you inside me. Finish your papers.
it will be a surprise...all I can say is stripper clown.
Randomize
