it's all fun and games until somebody pulls the tampon string..
Just role played anchorman. And yes, I did take her to pleasure town.
A 300 lb dude in a sundress yelling bible verses while wearing a raggedy anne wig is just as funny as I thought it would be. Thank you san francisco.
I hope my shame shaped pee stain outside your door goes away soon.
It's Friday afternoon and I'm drunk. This is how I cope.
have i crossed some slutty boundary when gay guys are sending me cock pics?
He said I was cute and he handed me a stuffed bear from his car. I don't care that he was 80, I named it Hector.
I've been randomly kik messaging bearded men I find on Instagram while sitting unshowered in my underpants. I'm like the girl version of a creepy uncle.
i've written a new chapter in the saga of unexpected dongs
btw, whatever u do, dont try and take that towel away from her..i tried, it got ugly..she said some things im sure she regrets.
i was sitting in the back of a squad car completely stoned watching airplanes take off
He sent me a dick pic from work, but I could see all the pizzas in the background. Now I'm just hungry.
I forgot what I was gonna say, but I'm pretty excited to not be pregnant.
He showed up at 1:10AM covered in mud and vomit, wearing a headband that said victory in Japanese. I WANT PICS.
I’ve had a lot of vodka, 3 different dicks and no food since last night. Come get me
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