too bad they don't have a 'people you may be able to do' thing on facebook. it would save me a lot of fucking time.
did you seriously just ask me if there is such thing as a sophisticated batman shirt?
Now I know how you felt every time you had to listen to me have sex with a girl... mildly disguested yet marginally proud.
Can you explain my first weekend back, because there a lot of blacked out gaps and 32 friend requests i would like to know about
Also, we should really buy some bandaids. Right now I'm using toilet paper and scotch tape, but I don't really think that's sanitary.
If I remember who won the superbowl tomorrow morning.. I think I'm just going to quit drinking. There really won't be a point anymore
Just got a free shot w my beer...it's not quite 11am yet...I love international travel. These people aren't judgmental.
Doing shrooms is fine until you get raped by curtains
I am self-sufficient. I puked in a wine glass and emptied it in the trash. Points for style and neatness
You decided that walking wasn't in the cards for you anymore
He was still there when I ran half naked into my suitemate's room where she was skyping her boyfriend and I started singing I JUST HAD SEEEEX
God I miss you. I want to fuck your face... Then do all the girly cuddly shit too.
You're about to makeout with my vagina, I don't think she cares that you haven't brushed your teeth. Just get over here!
Have you ever been so high that you felt like corduroy? I'm at that level.
We single women of America need to make America great again by refusing to fuck anyone who supports Trump.
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