You had a beer at 10:30 this morning?
Ya, I didn't have any Tylenol.
Come on, video tape it. Take one for the team
I just found cold cuts in the blender. You and beefeater can no longer have unsupervised parties.
Just wondering did you put mouse traps and brownies on my porch?
Just saw ur booking photo. Love that u were already wearing orange. Its like u knew
Do you ever just look at me and get embarrassed?
He referred to his cock as "The cock" like it was third party or something.
The last thing I remember before blacking out was telling Jamie that she was too fat even for my standards. The first thing I remember after blacking out was waking up next to her.
If my penis could make facial expressions, it would constantly have a smile on.
We're Scorpios. We're like dogs rolling in whatever smells good to us.
I have a theory that years from now they will be with women who despise me because of what I trained their husbands to like.
I think I'm getting sponsored by the Mexican Drug Cartel for the start of my poker career. It was an interesting night at the bar. One word, Vegas.
Her instagram is literally selfies, cats, and guys she's fucked.
I lose my morals, my dignity, and my selfie stick :(
I think I was judged by a squirrel this morning during the walk...
Randomize