where are you?
in the room with the baby pig
k im coming soon
community service is like the breakfast club... except we're all the criminal.
you were trying to give my penis an indian burn.
They had miseltoe over the keg.... thats cheating
I just saw "i'm bigger then that" as her facebook status. Would it be better to make a fat joke or correct her grammar?
He told me he wouldn't do any drunk sluts but me. I guess that's sort of a compliment...?
Cumming on a girls face is guy code for you're not wife material.
She sucked my dick while i watched james bond. And they say marriage sucks
DUDE, DID YOU KNOW YOU CAN JUST RENT AN ELEPHANT???
Oh God.
How much is that going to cost?
A lot of beer.
He told me he wanted to sober fuck the shit outa me... I took that as a compliment
I met her parents last night. Her dad smelled like weed and kept yelling "I HAVE ALLERGIES AHHH MY EYES ARE BURNING!" During dinner It had to be good weed he didn't even know he was yelling.
I shall relish in being the most basic of bitches
Just rode a bull topless for a free bar tap for a month
All I remember is you shouting "THIS KID IS A FREAKIN' NINJA!!" when he dive rolled over a barbed wire fence and proceeded to ask for his 18th beer.
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