Have you ever had champagne poured on you during sex? It was like a rap video
just went trash diving in my work clothes for weed. A&E's intervention here i come.
We just did a shot to "getting laid in the bar bathroom". I love where this thursday is headed
Haha jealous. If I could remember my dreams I'm pretty sure they would constantly be about being drunk in foreign countries
Successfully masturbated while balancing on an exercise ball. my greatest accomplishment?
Probably
An don't say it's "personal preference" cause I don't buy it. I just want to have normal cool guy balls. I don't want to be the dude that's still rocking the equivalent of the "mid 90's bowl cut" of scrotum haircuts.
I'm not judging you. Just know that you could be Queen of The World. Instead you're 5:28 p.m ponging. I hope you're at least winning
I'd say it's his fault for never running us through proper protocol for "catching your RA in the middle of him banging some girl"
I'm hungover during 4th grade graduation practice. I AM THEIR FUTURE.
I can't remember the last time I saw a penis in person that I didn't see a million times on text first
You kept flirting with some guy while I was throwing up on the sidewalk, and I screamed YOU DON'T LIKE MEN
if people come over to pregame will you hide my Oreos
Whatever douche. I sucked the dick that made you. I. Win.
Are you ok? Who pooped in my office?
Sextember may be over, but Cocktober is just beginning!!!
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