conclusion of the day: americans need to get on tredmills, people need to learn how to flush toliets and learn how to pee in then instead of on them, and waiters shouldnt tell their life stories to customers.
So i just bought beer on a credit card, using a fake ID, while wearing my nametag from work. All 3 have different names on them. God i love my boobs.
you know you made it when your beer pong table is made from imported italian hardwood
This wouldn't happen so much if fat girls would just stop being so damn easy.
i think that dennys waitress has my boxers
I just found a wine bottle in my shower. Must have been a good night.
She was kinda cute. So long as you don't mind neck tattoos and bad life choices.
Teenager with grandparents staying in their room: is to blue balls, as parent waiting for teen to come home safe: is to sleep. You will live- love mom
I actually just took 17 pictures of some guy at the gas station that needs to marry me now
it's ok my mom asked me why i had a guys shirt on and also why there was chocolate all over my bra
If I got paid for every bad decision I've made I would be one rich bitch by now
You danced?!
I just jiggle to the beat like a sexy lava lamp
He does have a nice smile. I also like to think he has a nice penis, but that's just a prediction.
Him showing up yesterday was like a giant ego stroke for my vagina.
Dude, the T Swift concert might not be so bad after all. Can you say milfs living vicariously through their teenage daughters? Score.
Randomize
