just saw a man remove a wedgie from his lady's ass. who says chivalry is dead.
we live in such a classy society.
Eating doritas dunked in queso con salas. Salllas. Salska. Salsa. Got it. Shhiitt. Salsa con queso. That's better. I'm hot pink socks.
beeferoni + vodka = puke stuck in braces.
He just called shotgun on the way to the squad car.
who paints a picture of their own dick and sends it to people. i dont know if its borderline crazy or just fucking genius...
You insisted on take shots off of plates.
Theres an amvulance here. It might be for me
My liver and I thought we knew what we signed up for. We were wrong.
I was drunk petting a fox and taking shots of Jager. That's about as outdoorsy as it gets.
hurry up this bar wont let me order big pitchers of beer for just myself
Dude she tried to bite my face off last night, literally. I have never actually felt like a piece of meat until that point in life...
I was walking back to the dorm and was made fun of for wearing a coat. I'M SORRY I CARE ABOUT MY WELL BEING.
I was alternating between saying "yall need Jesus" and "God bless" the entire night
You woke up in between the boxspring and the matress in a random dorm room.
That 2-CB was ass.
You mean the asprin cut with pez?
Randomize
