So J keeps drinking his last bit of drink, then spitting it out and drinks it again. Savor the flavor?
The guy in front of me in Sociology is definitely working on my farm in farmville. Never met him before. Do I thank him?
Any time before 12:00pm. Can go fuck itself.
Remember when we did the egg drop from the Dyson building? Her vag is like that, except with a ham, and the ham doesn't make it. I'll be back to the apartment in ten.
Neighbors just bought a new bong. Got high with them and we decided to name it "Gary colemans sweet sugarlumps" these guys are hilarious
I just did the nutritional comparison between 2% milk and Bud Light Lime.. the beer had less calories, less carbs, and less fat. It's not looking good for milk in my life anymore
The bar owner gave me permission to push people into the pool. I'm never going to leave Los Angeles
Update: we are pushing the start of day drinking back from 9 am to 10 am. Minor delay.
I told the bartender that he could give me back the tip I gave him if he outsmarted me in a battle of wits. He has yet to challenge me.
I'm currently looking on facebook to see how slutty the girls from my kindergarden class are now. I have a problem.
Note to self: don't try to shave your legs when sex-sore. You CANT reach, stop trying.
I've spent so much time on tinder lately I just tried to left swipe an instagram photo of my neighbor
It's 8 in the morning and you're doing coke and drinking margaritas. First, you have a problem. Second, why didn't you invite me?
yeah. i tried to refuse to leave unless the burger king himself escorted me out. that didnt fly
He ate me out for my sailor moon manga and I gave him a blowjob for his Devilman manga. Pretty sweet deal imo
Randomize
