Just watched Hilary Duff have a three-some on Gossip Girl...all I could imagine was that LIzzie Maguire cartoon girl freaking out above their heads
And don't be too jealous. Drinking alone watching a chick flick and masturbating isn't nearly as glamorous as it sounds
I love wearing low cut shirts cuz then when class gets boring, I can look down and admire my breasts.
woke up in a garbage bag. literally. it was used as a sleeping bag.
how do i say, "my ex is going to be at this party so don't look like shit" without sounding like a bitch?
i'm out of college. that means no more sex on a twin bed. ever. i don't care how big his dick was. i'm classy like that.
We fed your dog hot wings then gave it some Bud light to drink. You're right. Dogs are fun.
For future reference, the blowjob coupons I gave you for your birthday are NOT transferable to pay your friends for tacos.
My dream had 1 penis and 2 pizzas in it. Priorities?
Just made a list of all the guys I've hooked up with. "Roofie tattoo eyelids", "xanex night guy", "rainy concert", "cory blanket" and "naked hottub guy" made it.
Oh, and also, a couple of straight girls showed up. But they ran away.
Thanks be to the Goddess of Whores!! I straightened my bed before Ken got here. Found Calvin's boxers in the sheets!!!!
Just let me take your liver out and beat it with a meat tenderizer for you..
Se wrote an essay in class about proper and fashionable winter wear for dogs. Of course I regret fucking her.
he won't tell me his last name, but I know his garage key code
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