We named our party play list daddy issues
The seats are awesome but you see two of each player.
His glasses broke on the way to the bar aNd he ended up talking to this butterface all night. I didn't have the heart to tell him
Just drove through Taco Johns wearing a drug rug and no pants. When I rolled down my window, the girl paused for a minute before saying "um... 4.07"
Nobody knew what to do when it was dead. You said fire up the George Foreman, I've never ate baby shark. She hasn't stopped crying.
I had no where to run... The dumpster sounded like a good idea at the time
I can't believe he let me cut his hair as stoned as I was.. I think I even cut my own hair too
So then I proceeded to the kitchen to make my "specialty," which consisted of a frozen veggie burger topped with peanut butter. I guess he ate it too.
Everyone is speaking Spanish and this 300 hundred pound chick is talking about the time she got out of prison... Fuck this place
Pretty sure my idea of standards went out the window when I hooked up with a guy who had a rooster tattoo with an arrow pointing down to his no no bits. Think about it.
I woke up to some strange woman rubbing peanut butter on my thighs
I'm sobbing to NWA
You start to question your party girl tendencies when you're wearing the same shirt you wore the night before to work and you're trying to get last nights Jell-O shot off the sleeve on your way to work
So last night, I bought mother's day cards and the Plan B pill.
The smoothie place is closed, but the liquor store is open and wine is kinda like a smoothie.
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