I think vodka calistinics prior to and during beer olympics was a bad idea
My mom gave me a book called "why good people do bad things"
I didn't realize you were one of the "good people"
When he left he said something to the effect of "well now that I've been used..." I think he may be on to me.
You. Me. A bottle of Vodka. The wilderness.
Last two new years I ended in jail by 12. Can we wait until its actually 12:02 this time to do something stupid. I'd like to spend the first minute of 2012 free.. At least.
I think this girl gave me a handjob thinking that I would help her with her cell phone bill
omg. that's awesome
Though my hair looks fantastic i will unfortunately have to turn down your 4am sex offer
I just told the joker that my vagina is the bat cave and he needs to infiltrate it.
He showed up riding a bike blasting the ghostbusters theme song. His name was Lasercat. Im in love.
They need to eat meat, go down on me the first time, every time, and know how to pull my hair. And there's a height requirement for this ride
Bro you were on fire last night...like a less Irish version of Liam Neeson
Can you get winded from lip syncing? I don't know how Britney does it
yep, just sat in the backseat of my car for about five minutes looking for the vodka soaked underwear,when i came to the realization that i really gotta start getting my shit together..
Somebody broke the sliding door, and someone ripped the toilet seat off the toilet. So yeah, pretty typical friday night
What’s the best way to find out if he’s into anal?
I think you have the wrong number, but good luck with that
Randomize
