There was a fist fight in my basement last night at four in the morning, in case you were wondering
So that's a yes to the cocaine usage and a no to the rollerblading
dude your alot more fun to hang out around now that your addicted to coke...but seriously you need to stop
you went up to their shower, tripped in it, accidentally turned it on and then claimed that you like to "test everyone's showers"
I wonder if I could sublet my bathtub to anyone.
I'm not gonna lie. having my legs shaved for me in the morning was a lovely surprise.
Jerry just sent me this: IOR GHIT ALL THE BUTTIB. Go get him. Now.
Two dudes got up on top of the pianos and danced shirtless. They didnt even get kicked out. I love vegas
My neighbor caught me peeing on his rose bushes at 2 in the morning while wearing my Santa hat. My sex appeal has never been higher.
Currently studying Econ, while waiting outside current booty call's residence for him to return from the strip club. This is your fault.
I was at the pharmacy picking up my herpes medication and the pharmacist asked if I had any questions about my medicine, looked at the bottle, and laughed. Insult to injury man.
You rubbed a frozen pizza in my face. The concerning part was that it was semi cooked from our body heat
Can I just go to one establishment in which I haven't banged anyone ?
She is getting high and watching the Hobbit. I want her life.
So she is basically watching her own life story: short people traveling to strange places.
Does this cleavage amount say, “Fuck it, I’m over dating, let’s just fuck?”
Randomize
