Oh and discovery of the day is it's the channel, not the time on your cable box. Thought it was 2:16 for 4 hours
Yeah he gave the rest of the brownies to the bouncer that took his fake
We still going to Happy Hour
Idk. I can't because it doesn't fit in my schedule of sleeping or throwing up
Looks like breakfast in bed is out the window. She can't get up because I "fucked her into paralysis." My stomach is not happy with my dick right now
I am the sex elephant in the room. Again.
So apparently nutella and chocolate body paint aren't actually the same thing.
idk the fact that her roommate had a sign that said "enter without knock, exit without cock" makes me really NOT want to go steal her pot.
She actually purred while I was balls deep in her! I have never been so proud to buy plan b at 6:30 in the morning.
That pizza at 1 am literally tasted like I was eating an angel
Is posting a pic on insta of my previously dyed blue pubes socially acceptable?
We perfected the quiet ass slap during sex so his roommate wouldn't wake up.
A unicorn in pinstripe pants just got on the J at Dolores stop. It can only be a good night
You gonna smoke this blunt? Or are you gonna keep doing Kung-fu in my kitchen?
On the way home she told me she was in kindergarten when 9/11 happened
How does one tell their boyfriend they're pregnant with someone else's kid??
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