i hate sounding clingy, but i just wanted to verify i wasn't an asshole in your mind
no weekend plans? you're practically married
just without the last name or joint bank account
i'd advise against both
have you seen my purse? i cant find it and my ipod is in there and that shit totally cost more than my abortion.
Hmmm just stalked him and according to his facebook he wants "whatever he can get." obviously he'd be open to the idea.
that's not even the weird part though. he already knew where the bathroom was, he might have been here before..
im not 100% but im pretty sure at some point i was rubbing ur bf's beard telling him how magnificient i thought it was
Look on the bright side. Now you know the number for poison control.
Im in his room watching him sleep. Im going to try and jerk off and not get caught by the nurse.
Dude, she's the greatest salesman alive. she convinced chelsea to buy a box of Cheerios for $20. She can find your dick some willing pussy.
I had to put a towel over my laptop because the little power light was too bright. New hangover low.
Good morning! Just thought I'd give you my yearly reminder that we lost our virginities 7 years ago, yesterday.
That's the best creepy text ever.
She's crying about either her ex boyfriend, her one night stand, or her own puke. None of those is worth the tears.
also karaoke with swedish 7yr old and drunk 50yr old = best idea ever
Omg yes! I just found a random muffin! Don't question it. Just praise the miracle.
Nutrition teacher wants anything i eat or drink documented for the week including dancefestopia. Do you know the recommended daily ammount of psylicybin or MDMA?
Randomize