nosebleed girl is getting lots of praise
where are my pants?
you were passing out with two blankets and the person next to you was cold so you gave him your pants to keep warm
I drank 13 shots. Which is unlucky. Which is why i threw up.
you threw up because you drank 13 SHOTS
The worst part of it is that he's not the first man I've fucked with 2+ chihuahua's.
if that blanket by the dog bowl was your dog's "bed" then i apologize to bailey for having sex on it
Right, because I totally see myself driving all the way down there to fuck his world famous penis.
This is why i like single justin better. my only regret is not being present for more of his short life. may he rest in peace
Nothing bad can happen when you have a kiwi flavored condom. Absolutely nothing.
Simple math equation: Up till 5 a.m. drinking + up at 9 a.m. for nephews birthday party = puking in the pool
I can't believe I ever hated her sister or friends. They got her some sexy sexy ass lingerie for the honeymoon. I think I love them bitches
How would your parents feel if we installed a sex swing?
You know its a good morning when you wake up with blonde hair extensions in your pocket. . .
ICE CREAM AND CAKE BITCHESSSSSS
He is in my tree wearing full on scuba gear ... Get here asap.
Did you apologize to him for the trip to the strip club as a first date or is that something that just gets swept under the rug??
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