I smell stomach acid.
Also how the fuck did i get like 30 brown napkins
I feel like after all he sees, the dog needs to get baptized.
If it makes you feel any better, i gave her boyfriend a blowjob last week.
You had me sold at "fucking you down the slide"
I held his ankles while he hung off the top bunk attempting to get my pillow that fell off.
don't tell me about being eco-friendly. i just threw up in the same bag i bought my liquor in. RECYCLING
there is nothing more depressing than your birth control alarm going off while you're masturbating, and realizing you've been taking pointless precautions for over a month now.
Just did the walk of shame in front of his dad while I was wearing his gym shorts and my heels from graduation last night. Keep it classy '12
You went to the animal party as a hoodrat. You won the most creative costume contest.
He took initiative. Dragged me into the kitchen and did me on the stove....while it was on! And then we made nachos.
He sent me a dick pic from work, but I could see all the pizzas in the background. Now I'm just hungry.
Drunk and bowling. Only good things can come of this
he said he couldn't believe he just lost his virginity and passed out. what have i done
I boned my sugar daddy for the first time yesterday and now I know why they say guys in their 40s are the best. Also I’m getting a car.
Randomize