break up sex still means we will always be broken up.
Houston.. we have a drinking problem..
dude, mark had the least successful cab ride in history last night. took a cab to the bars, stopped at every atm in the city, none worked, then had to come back to the party to beg for 20 to pay the taxi that officially took him nowhere.
look. either you want to have late night naked sleep overs or you don't. do not involve dinner and extraneous conversations in this relationship.
If I refrain from fucking my manager, I'm going to reward myself by fucking that guy from the photo department.
I'm missing some hair, but it's cool. Breadsticks are done.
Lemme guess, I was the one completely shit faced making out with the 50 year old...
LOL, wrong number bro. Good luck trying to figure out what happened though..
I'm pretty sure they had a hash wedding cake. I love college weddings.
it's gotten to the point where there are no existing good choices. even our good choices are bad choice by anyone's standards but ours.
Thanks for not locking your door. I had to pee and there was a random person throwing up in my bathroom so I used yours. \nPS I stole your soap
I need to pack up my vagina and leave. We only do bad things together.
Okay, so when I go to meet your grandma, let's do a quick cum check to we don't have another "what's that on your face?" situation.
So how do you explain to your boss that Siri called him mid sex?
I just walked out of the side door of the bar to come in the front door so no one would know I've been here drinking before our work meeting.
He said his name was Tony, after last night I will refer to him as Tiny
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