I didn't talk to you tonight because I've decided you look like a man.
Yes, I fucked her, no she wasn't that loose, yes she caused more drama than a 14 year old girl
New beer pong partner names "Bus Boys" ... We clear tables
My mom's crying. That means it must be Christmas.
my boss made my mugshot into an 'employee of the month' poster.
September 16th, captains log. I awoke in a daze, not sure of my location
We got back together. The pastures weren't greener on the other side, the dicks were just smaller
I'm drunk at a gay bar with my riding crop. God save the queens
You know, part of me wants to die and the other part of me doesn't want to live
I wanna say I regret bonging a beer while having sex with Mike, but it helped me get thru it.
Oh my god, it's like someone broke the off button in my butthole
My boobs are literally freaking out because I've been wearing a bra for more than three hours....I need to go out more...
He says the sweetest things but also that he wants to choke me when we fuck so it's kinda perfect.
NOT PREGNANT HIGH FIVE!
So I was having a really bad night...so I decided to steal a pumpkin.
Randomize
