Pre-pickelized cucumber-hand invasion!! RUN!!!!!!!!!!
Woke up with a retainer in my boxers and about ten chicks passed out around me. now I feel like something out of Cinderella, trying to find whose teeth fit in the glass retainer.
I have another pimple on my ass cheek.
I'll be there in 10 minutes.
I might scale it back and go as an investment banker. Which is the exact same costume as James Bond on LSD. I just introduce myself differently.
i had the all of mcdonalds chanting USA as he motorboated you
he's measuring my pool to see how much jello powder he needs. He got paid today.
My mouth already tastes like senor cuervo took a piss in it and it's barely 1 am
you want a dog just so you can strap a barrel of hot chocolate around its neck?
Someone had written "Boxmonsterette" on the bathroom wall and I just knew you'd been here.
It'd be easier to list the surfaces my ass hasn't been on.
It's gotten so bad I typed my will out on my phone in case it's over.
Will you be doing the frenzied booty dance of passionate ownage on my penis tonight
either he just commented on my nose ring or he's offering me cocaine, I honestly can't tell
For one week of my life every time I pull my cock out I want the Jurassic Park theme music to start playing.
We're sort of like brothers. Except with more sexual tension. And we don't look alike. Or are related.
So we're not much like brothers really.
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