this is amy. the small petlike person from the womens bathroom at the reef.
i don't care what she did to you. we are not having sex in front of your sister.
When i woke up this morning she asked me 'when did you first find out that you could see the future.' I gotta stop drinking.
No, when he said that he wished he had my eyebrows, THATS when I knew he was gay.
Sunday was the 8 month anniversary when you shot me in the face...just an FYI.
I'm literally partying with O.J. Simpson's son right now. I don't know what to make of this.
Day 8 of being sober: Sniffed an empty beer bottle at a restaurent and almost licked it. This is not working
Drunk in burger king. Having it our way. Free fries. M&m sundaes.
I woke up on a navy base in a different time zone. I'm never leaving tallahassee again.
You know how I know she's ugly? 97% of her profile pics are flowers or animals. And what do we know about pretty people and the Internet?
I don't trust his life but I trust his penis.
You ruined the universe
Would it be inappropriate to meet you at the airport after your family vacation so I can tell you all about the amazing sex I have been having?
we've dated a week and made out twice. he is taking it slow. but his body is stupid sexy. just want him to stop respecting me and fuck me like a gutter slut. respect me later im not getting younger.
Look fucker, my sensibility and attention to detail is the ONLY REASON you're not dead now
Randomize
