Any of you guys fuck a 16 year old again? Because our front yard got fucked over high school style.
Moved my bed either I'm a whore or every guy I have ever slept with hid condom wrappers under my bed
I kept feeling my boobs..just to make sure they were still there.
Just had a memory of you pretending to be a begging dog putting your head on my lap while I fed you. Great night to try a new drug.
I just wrote "where Jason is" on the screen. He guessed "hospital" correctly.
I'm just saying, no one has ever made me laugh or cum as hard as you do. Sometimes at the same time which I didn't know was possible. Is there even a word for that besides love?
Is everyone touching their nose at me a sign that I should stop snorting vicodin off my phone in the bathroom at school?
Spending 4 hours in the emergency room today tells me that your birthday party was a success.
He got an erection from helping me mobilize my lumbar spine. I love physical therapy school.
well whats the tarot card for I'm totes going to be schlobbing his cob? because that's in his future.
My little brother came home while I was sitting there icing my vagina with a bag of peas. Asshole looks at me, high fives Ryan, then leaves.
You don't know bruises until you've been banged by 3 drunk bagpipers in the back of thier bus
I'm in my math teacher's garage hiding right now because I fucked his son last night. It's fine
You know that pill i snorted last night? Yeh, its just hitting me now..... At work
I don't think it's a coincidence that the day I just happen to do the splits at the gym I come back with 7 guys' phone numbers.
Randomize
