U know its gonna be a great day when the guy at the liquor store waves at u cause u walked by
her vagina probably looks like a grenade went off in a deli
Please stop bringing your one night stands to Sunday brunch.
No more tipping the bathroom attendant with your phone.
He texted me for a bootycall at 2:00am so I rolled outta bed and shaved my legs but then he decided he wasn't coming over...he lost his bootycall privileges
Well let's just say that she ended up trying to get it in with the wheelchair guy, who btw, can get an erection and quickly I might add
Aw c'mon. You have to see if the spinning penis rumor is true.
hold on, were in the kitchen painting a yellow brick road to my vagina on my leg with black light paint.
I'm not sure what happened. But I must have won because I obviously stole two full pitchers of beer from the bar and taped a note on them saying "your welcome"
hey, this is the ginger girl from the party...i've thought about it and I wanna join the american girl drinking team
Also this guy fingered me at the bar and then gave me his card
FUCK IM ABOUT TO GET A DICK PIC IN THE LIBRARY
She asked me if I would fuck her with my storm trooper mask on
I feel like I could have been bitchier and missed an opportunity.
I thought the dude was just really enjoying his piss but apparently he was jerkin off into the urinal.
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