That's your vagina. No one goes out and burns it
Changed my mind. Wearing a dress. Casual, with a side of breasts.
In all honesty of all my sexual conquests, his dick is probably my proudest moment.
Apparently I told the girl smoking was terrible for her, and then requested it in my mouth.
I couldn't find the bathroom last night...so I wrapped myself in the curtains and stuck my butt out the window and peed from two stories up. Thank god I don't remember.
i ate a whole tub of butter with my hands last night. don't tell me about rock bottom
I'm sooo hungover. I fell asleep on top of a car in a parking lot last night. New one to add to the list.
Can I also remind you that we insisted on touching his mustache?
Well of course I remember it took up like 20 minutes of my night.
This guy is like Don Jon! Im over here this weekend and at least four times I've heard porn on his phone thru the bathroom door.
Are you trying to say I've made an emotionally well rounded transformation similar to the Grinch?
Instead of asking him how many women he's slept with I just got straight to the point and asked how many Plan B pills he's purchased
WHY DID YOU DRUNK DIAL MY MOM?!
Because mine was sitting on the bar stool next to me...
We are the rockettes of vaginal bleeding
Why the fuck am I at this dorm meeting? I don't pay $50,000 a year to stay sober.
I talked to his mom for a good 10 minutes with coke all over my nose. Not the best first impression
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