is it true guys wash their penises in the sink if they think they're getting laid at a bar?
it's more of a rinse.
Sex should be hot, sweaty, messy, and a little painful. At no point should it involve tiny rocks
the fog machine set off the whole complexes fire alarm
just woke up to find an unpeeled banana, with a condom on, halfway into my vagina. this better not be you trying to be funny
i am way too old to be getting fingered at work
Ok so I could say "im sorry"...but instead ill just say "unsupervised...jager...military guys...green school bus called the juice box...and HUGE dick"
FYI, your girlfriend is on her way to the ER. She tried to balance a bottle of jack on her chest. Smashed toes, blood all over patio. Call her, kinda funny though.
I found out his name. Apparently we sat in the shower together and flooded the bathroom.
I swear they were about to hook up!!
I know because I was in the tub taking an imaginary silent bath. They stopped cuz I gagged on my shot.
It was kinda hard to explain to his wife why there was chocolate syrup on the ceiling.
Think of something healthy and responsible. Now think of the exact opposite, let's do the latter
It's like "hey I give your roommate blowjobs twice a week, want to connect on LinkedIn?"
Marrying her is the worst scenario of any. That includes death and zombies.
Sex while Star Warsing is the best
You kept calling yourself a spider monkey... Then ran to the bathroom to "prepare for the main event"
Randomize