The only way im leaving this casino is in a golden chariot or an ambulance
His internet history had "Disney Porn" on it.
just threw all of the fireworks into the bonfire. thats why there are firetrucks.
if you hear someone banging on your door early in the morning, it's me with some breakfast burritos, so don't be alarmed
She was drunk breaking up with me. All of my emails to her were coming back with UNSUBSCRIBE as the subject.
And for some reason I was covered in ants... So your probably covered in ants as well
While we were making out, he kept yelling at me for not coming to his wedding last month.
Did you get any last night. I need to track my forever aloneness
I was afraid someone would drug test my pants so you set them on fire.
I just remember lots of butts and something about ranch dressing.
Like I fucked him in the shower at 3 am when I had classes all day the next day so he can't say I'm not dedicated
You know how last week before we left I was drinking outta that blue cup and I left it sitting across the road. Well, it hadn't moved and my family just found it, brought it inside and cleaned it. I think this cup is my soulmate.
college girl with braces trying to flirt with you...time to go
It was like I was gay for pay but except being gay I became straight and instead of for pay it was for coke.
I HATE BEING THIS HIGH FML IT'S LIKE I'M MAKING UP FOR ALL THE 4:20S I DIDNT DO ALL AT ONCE
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