I GPSed you we're an hour and 14min away from each other
and it's going to stay that way
So yes it WAS her period, NOT a nose bleed.
Its way too early to be sitting naked at his dining room table...
I just bought a CD. I feel like a traitor to my generation.
Woke up at 4:30am to my little brother shaking me. Apparently I fell asleep naked on my kitchen table waiting for the toaster to pop. 2 years of college completed and i still havent learned my drinking limit...
please don't text me until you can spell three letter words again.
Whiskey shot with bacon bits, our version of Goldschlager WE ARE TRYIN IT.
Ive seen teh same guy pissing in the corner. Twice. Its eally weird. My frieds gonna do th funnel. Im so excited for her! Love, cori. Cuz its lik a diary.
I fed him pizza in bed. I'm probably the best one night stand ever.
I think that the jello shots in bowls is where it all went wrong.
That's the best thing about having gay dads, you don't gotta do shit on mothers da and everybody is down wit getting wasted on mimosas at brunch
I need dunkaroos back in my life.
You went outside, peed in the front yard, and asked me to bring you some toilet paper.
yeah true but how easily can you rip a scrotum
I'm literally trying to cool beer down right now in my car by putting it on my floor and blasting cold air on it
Randomize
