I went out, and slept with my sunglasses on
I'm think I may have given your ex's number to a convicted sex offender.
Win!
how do chicks with those acryllic nails wipe their anuses?
whos cum tastes better, a guy who drinks apple juice or cranberry juice?
dude all my bootycalls are going to Eclipse tonight... Do I really want it that bad?
it's ok. you also told me I can feel free to vomit on your blow dryer sometime.
Dental hygienist just pulled two flakes of glitter out. And asked me how i've been doing with the divorce.
I'm staying in tonight, it's my Christmas present to my liver.
TOUCH YOURSELF. DO IT.
I don't think that's how you're supposed to sext
k. The important thing is we are going out. You are stones. I am mildly hallucenating.
I warned you. Don't come crying to me when your vagina refuses to forgive you for this.
We're exchanging our favorite porn sites at 9 am. I think this brings our relationship to a whole new level
We have moved from phase 1: honeymoon, to phase 2: trapped in relationship until the cold embrace of death
I enjoy the company of your penis
I didn't really understand how big 10 inches is. Now I know.
Randomize
