I cant remeber how long i've been laying here...it could be 10 minutes to a fucking day
Pretty sure I left lotion and my bra in your car. I've secured your fathers belief that your straight. You can thank me later
i feel like verizon should give a sexter of the month award
I made out with Jen. We were naked. I'm still gay. Forever
i swear, about 40% of my drunken life is spent having sex with him.
Do ex girlfriends even count for summer sexcapades. Seems like the damage had already been done
Victory lap
I have officially had sex in every room on my floor. Don't say I'm not an amazing RA.
Just beat off to internet porn while talking to my mom on the phone and eating a cinnamon roll. U have 5 minutes to get on my level
You told her that she shouldn't be allowed to wear clothes then when her roommate asked if you like her you said "no I just want to insert things into her"
I stand by it.
It's like some sort of initiation to finger one of them... so I did it. And got high fived afterwards like a dozen times.
Those were right hand only?
I tried to help you up but you said "let me dance it off"
Why is there a whip in the kitchen?
Theres just something about today that says lets get drunk, dont you think?
She totals her lexus and all she wants is to have crazy wild sex.
Woke up with a glow stick in my boobs this morning. Must've dominated Sunday.
Randomize
