I Bought a bracelet with bible characters and a charm broke. the virgin mary one. Do you think it's a sign?
if it walks like a guido and talks like a guido, i'm gonna fuck it.
It's like I paid NJ Transit $33 to suck his dick and go home. Fuck that.
Since you haven't talked to me since the rancid whipped cream fiasco, I'm going to assume we are no longer hooking up. But I need my handcuffs back. ASAP.
They got their marriage license when they were at the courthouse for her arraignment.
I've come to the conclusion while folding laundry and watching porn that I may be dead inside.
So I'm drinking wine and watching Thumbelina
I'm teaching my cat to play fetch
Yep, it's a friday
He rode a broom down the stairs while we were mattress surfing. Naked. Buck ass naked. WTF
you're avoiding the subject, i want to know how you ended up at the strip club with the dog, fucker
like i literally can feel my uterus getting frustrated at me for not being pregnant.
You know when you get a stripper pays your bail. You got good wood.
He said we would have a beautiful daughter together. That way too much for a one night stand...
Getting drunk in an Applebee's pray for me
Lord god protect this child
I think you are severely overestimating being able to get your lingerie back by posting the lyrics of Irreplaceable
My breath smells like gin and sadness
Randomize
