Dry humping a girl for an hour and then jizzing in your pants doesn't count as losing it.
I think its a sure sign I need to get laid when every cloud in the sky looks like a penis.
the pic of her and her boyfriend fell off the wall as we were fucking.
I really shouldn't have to apologize. It was your own damn fault for opening a tab at the bar and telling me about it.
I woke up with her little sister yelling "she's dead !!" from the bathroom doorway.
The bouncers kicked us out around 3 so we went to the grocery store flasks in hand and asked them to turn up their music...
As a jewish boy dating her she thinks everypart of christmas is my first time. Helllllo bj under mistletoe!!
there's a strong possibility i came on your eyeliner last night bathroom sex was unplanned and rather messy sorry
His hands kept asking for sex, but all I could think was "dude, this is going to ruin my high".
Fulfilled a bucket list goal last night. Borrowed a dollar from a stripper to buy smokes
God bless Atlanta.
Definitely just realized I wore a shirt that says "building leaders for Christ" to a hookup. Roll tide.
Girls at BYU need to learn how to handle a penis. I swear my date last night was trying to pull it off my body to use later.
I have accepted that I am a sexual predator. What I can't accept is the lack of sexual men for me to seduce in this town.
i'm gonna crowd surf you onto his dick
Uhhh...I just found your 10 dollar bill in my bra. I owe you 10 dollars.
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