I just met lou reed's venus in furs. Her hands are slippery.
My sis friend said it was fake then described it as "scary"...greatest adj ever applied to my dick
listening to techno makes your hand move faster while masterbating
The last shot i remember taking was toasted to "love, sex, and magic". Needless to say I was 0 for 3 on that toast for the night.
Just saw a cop issuing a DUI. At 3 pm. It's definitely the start of winter break.
Is there any way you can check to see if I have a warrant out in Alabama?
I'm glad the dog doesn't judge me for doing leftover lines and watching George of the Jungle at 10 am
Two penises later: I might be straighter than I think.
He offered to drive me out of state to meet up with my fuck buddy. Like best brother in law ever.
it's like his penis is God's way of saying "sorry about his face"
I had to break up with him he didn't understand my priorities. I'm sorry but Saturday nights are for pot and Doctor Who. I'm not going to change who I am.
I can't blame him for thinking that then, placing a cone shaped potato chip on the tip of his penis post bj is not a normal act of love
Come back I feel like I ticking time bomb of
of drugs
I don't know man. She said my cock made her promises my heart couldn't fulfill.
Bring vodka when you get back from court.
Randomize
