He famously once noted that women should wear white "like all other domestic appliances,"
Turns out you can't chew it over with twix in real life
Dude I've never seen anyone get slapped that hard
Apparently I signed "I love you" on my bar tab last night.
worst morning ever. completed my walk of shame home to find my parents, grandma, and priest had come down to surprise me on my birthday. now i'm in the car with them to go get my car from the bar.
i got a blow job in the bathroom during intermission at the hockey game. i'm pretty sure i made Canada proud.
Dude. No way. She insults the term butterface. She's a butternothing.
Just made a photo collage of the girls I've hooked up with this summer. I'm patting myself on my back right now
I may or may not have traded sexual favors for Disney on Ice tickets.
Oh god I may vomit into the teacup of debauchery.
His wife made me pancakes and let me borrow a clean shirt. Should I drop his class or use this to my advantage
Ive done some fucked up shit, but last night was the first I have Poured milk on anothers mans face in the shower.
But like now I know, men who are vegetarians are significantly worse in bed.
We are such grown women, dealing with life's problems one shower beer and reckless makeout session at a time.
Hey I can officially say I made out with a drug lord.
Thanks for driving us home last night. Also, blanket apology for anything I may have said/done. I blacked out sometime near the t-shirt cape incident
Randomize
