That bar we were at last night smelled like cougars. Virginia Slims, Aqua Net and Summer's Eve.
i wanna make it FB official so he cant fuck anyone else. but that means i can't fuck anyone else either. CONUNDRUM
couldnt find a condom. used a surgical glove instead. actually worked and the sex was great. thanks nursing school
i hooked up with some kid with a broken arm and he wouldnt even let me sign his cast
we are playing family charades. my sister pointed at me. everyone guessed alcoholic.
I'm not being over dramatic, but I think my heart is going to stop beating.
You need 4-7 business day to recover from a fingering like that.
Bring enough bail money and little extra for tacos after
I texted him a series of texts in which the first letters of each text spelled out "WE SHOULD HAVE SEX". If that's not dedication to the dick, I don't know what is
Played never have I ever with high schoolers today. Needless to say they brought up threesomes so I had to make a judgement call and decided to not put my finger down
Well I'm in a stranger's bed.
Gotta leave to watch the Lions
my mom asked if I found my Easter basket. it's 1PM & I got home an hour ago from last night. if I'm looking for anything, it's my dignity.
I'm in Home Depot and I can feel the straight bob the builders staring at me. I bet it's like I have a rainbow arrow pointing at me.
First he fixed my gutter. Then he flogged me and fucked me. Then he bought me a new vacuum cleaner. I don't understand Daddy Dom stuff but I ain't mad at it.
Googling enemas while I get a pedicure ... My life in one senence
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