You "were" hungover, which is past tense. So that gives you no excuse not to go out tonight.
Guys, I'm sleeping in the BOYNTON LAUNDRY ROOM. if you can, come let me out in the morning as I have no keys. I might be in the study room possibly. DON'T FORGET. I will be trapped
Would it be weird if I told you I thought of you when I masturbated?
Looks like I'm more than just your Mexico mistake...
Well idk about you but my nose is all recovered for the weekend.
The cops knocked on our door just to ask us if we were really having a no-pants party.
Do me a favor. Next time I think it's a good idea to take pulls from the handle, yell "FALCON PUNCH" and uppercut me in the taint. My future liver thanks you.
I was giving this guy head and he stopped me to look me in the eyes and say "you have a gift"
He's just so adorable. And I don't want to fuck someone who's adorable.
Her roommate was talking on her cell when I came out of the bedroom and I definitely heard her describe how shitty and terrified I looked. Awesome.
dude I don't even care if I'm getting catfished the point is I'm going to get laid. hot bitch, fat bitch, skanky bitch, i don't care my penis is having an adventure tonight regardless
Everyone is like kids first day of school and I'm over here like I need to stop sleeping with random
This bar smells like your ball sack. In a weird way I miss you.
Not drinking until my bday. I know it's only a few days but it feels like when couples get celibate before the wedding and there's all that tension.
It was beautiful and filled the audience with hope for the future. :3 I wish I could speak more but sleep werk nighty
I asked how you were doing?
saying im screwed is like saying the titanic took on a little water.
Randomize
