I'm afraid we're only dating because we're too lazy to look for anyone else.
Is it just me or are more fat girls getting belly button piercing these days?
The world would be so much better with thought bubbles.
i was like hansel and gretel. i puked a trail from mcdonalds to our place so i could find my way back in the morning
Please, do not let 'babydaddy' catch on as your petname for me.
shut up. I wear heels bigger than your dick
He kept saying "this is a bad idea" wasn't in his vocabulary. He left at 2 came back at 6 eating frozen waffles and he had a symbol, a moped mirror, and a new MacBook. I'd say he had a good time
You threw up on yourself, then proceeded to tell us "to not make a mess in your car"
we were running to make last call and you stopped me and said very seriously "if i fall, go on without me. just make sure theres a beer in my hand when you go"
Playing basket ball at the park with random people that showed up at 1am. the division of teams is based on what drugs people are on
Enroute to my place eta 6 mikes...estimated time until intoxicated? 45 mikes. Commence the timer.
sweating bourbon at client mtg -- you?
He brought me hungover chipotle knowing full well he wasn't getting a blow job. I think he may be too in love with me.
When I got home he was in his underpants on the couch, eating pop tarts and crying while watching Voltron.
Drunk me is having trouble keeping up with sober me's standards
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